A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through
the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents
gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe
the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually
have a program here at college that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to
talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that
program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the
course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.
About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.
"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking
up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such
good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach
the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in
that program?"
Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.
The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out
that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before
we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the
recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does.
Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin around with
that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a b*tch before he talks to
your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"